Hello students of UW Madison and Wisconsin residents. I know many of you are furious with me right now for cutting public employee's salaries and removing their bargaining rights, I and understand this unrest. When anyones salary is cut up to 20%, there will be anger. But keep in mind, I am also a public employee, and my salary will decrease by up to 4% by the end of my (cross your fingers) second term. None of this is easy for anyone in Wisconsin, so I would like to share how my family's personal budget has been cut for the coming business year.*
*Note: Not only is this an informative address, but one that promotes advice and self-help as well. Hopefully, you can make similar setbacks to your families budget, like I did to mine, and we can all move forward as a state again.
1. We removed all pictures from picture frames, taped the pictures to the wall, and returned the frames to the frame store (located in Sheboygan). Now we can be closer to our family picture, my parent's wedding picture, that piece of art we bought for $20 but bought an incredibly expensive frame to make it look like a masterpiece, and the space on the wall where my college degree would go if I graduated. How much my family saved: 4.2% of our annual budget.
2. We returned our box set of The West Wing after John Boehner told me I should stop talking about how great of a show it is at Republican Parties. How much my family saved: 6.0% of our annual budget.
3. Planning ahead, we are not buying our children Valentines for the next seven years because we received about a billion from Madison community members this February 14th. Thank you all. Now we don't have to buy Dora and Spiderman ones every year. How much my family saved: 2.7% of our annual budget.
4. I kicked my cocaine habit! How much my family saved: 32.8% of our annual budget.
5. Instead of eating out at fancy restaurants, we've begun eating at cheaper places and supporting the local economy. The owners of Del Monacos are from Canada and the owners of L'Etoile are from unoccupied France from WWII. We now eat at locally owned Five Guys, Potbellies, and the Espresso Royale closer to the capital because that one is more local. How much my family saved: 10.4% of our annual budget
Simple choices like these and we can all weather this crisis. Collectively, as a state, this will turn out to be a bargain in the end. Together, with both the Koch brothers at my side, we can make sure the wealthy are able to support us through trickle down. Just remember, "the bears still suck" and so does hide-n-seek.