Monday:
-Pledge Alex Connors was awarded the bro-medal of Pabst for eating out fellow pledge mate Greg Donahue without being told.
-Kelly Shaw was hospitalized this week 3 times after partying it up at Sigma chi. Alpha phi beta is organizing a get bro well party on Wednesday. Bring your own booze.
Tuesday:
-Only three rapes were reported at tau beta sigma last month. Way to step it up!!!
-Kelly Shaw needs a liver transplant. Donations, donors, and beer money may go to 1421 alpha Phi Beta.
Wednesday:
-Condom burning at alpha phi omega turns into rape fest 2010.
-Kelly Shaw is dead. Dude that blows hard. You were one of the coolest bros to ever chill with.
Thursday:
-Troy Parker is still being shunned. Keep it up bro, only a week to go!
-Wtf!! Epic! Kelly Shaw just iced me in the best icing ever! Funeral ice!
Friday:
-Scarface wins 27th annual best movie award. Shit yeah. Meet my little friend.
-Kelly Shaw choked on his own vomit and is back at the hospital being revived. Party hard dude. Party hard. Take notes pledge bitches.
Saturday:
-Pledge Russell Crowe sucked three dudes' dicks and played with his own anus to win bro-traveganza. Congrats.
-Kelly Shaw vows to stay another semester. Fuck yeah!
Sunday:
-Dan "The Man" Krueger survives an entire week on pabst blue ribbon alone.
-Kelly Shaw is being held on bond for alleged rape. That dude is epic.
